A Collection of Tidbits
by Rithralinde
Summary: just like the title says, a collection of odd tidbits, Aragorn climbs a tree, I talk to a horse, Elrond bangs his head on the wall, and Arwen tries on one of Elrond’s robes. Chapter Four up! Has our dear Lord Elrond gone crazy? or is it just the twins?
1. OneSided Conversations

Declaimer: Anything Tolkien's is just that….Tolkien's. Anything mine, however….is just weird…

AN: ok, these are just odd paragraphs, mini-story type deals that I created. They haven't been put into any stories yet because last year, after I wrote them, I wrote a very long original story and then my muse jumped off the tallest building in Australia. Don't ask me how he got there, (he would've jumped in NYC, but they have issues with people jumping off their buildings.) Anyway, my muse survived the fall, miraculously, and is back…he'll probably go into cardiac arrest soon due to the amount of work I'm doing. Anyway, I haven't figured out what to do with these, so I'm putting them in this little jumble of odd snippets. Thank You for reading.

* * *

Summary: just like the title says, a collection of odd tidbits, Aragorn climbs a tree, Legolas goes partially bald, I talk to a horse, Elrond bangs his head on the wall, and Arwen tries on one of Elrond's robes.

* * *

**One-Sided Conversations:**

**_An: yes for this one, it is a self-insertion, first person format, just a dream I had once…quite literally. No, this is not the real me, the real me is boring._**

This is an account in the diary of Faith, written after my little escapade. It looks rather weird reading my own name.

I sat up in bed as someone knocked on my door. The night had been long, I had been talking with the few elves I had met upon entering Imladris, or Rivendell as my people call it. "My people" being a group of humans from Bree.

At first I figured I should get up, people don't like to wait forever, and then I remembered they were elves. Elves! I 'm excited of course! I was told elves didn't care much for men, but Lord Elrond has been very kind to us. There are only a few of us here; we had set out on a hunting trip to gather much needed supplies for our corner of town. In case you are wondering, I am only here because father is unwell but mother says he'll be fine in a few days. The reason for our side trip to this magical place was a bear. He nearly killed one of our elder hunters. Oh but you should have seen them fight. This bear was massive and Master Evin was fighting like I have never seen!

I jumped from my reverie as the person knocked again. Grabbing the outer robe on the end of the bed, I tossed it on and told the knocker to enter.

"Finally Alex, took you long enough!" Charlie said laughing. I just bowed my head and mumbled something (I can't remember what it was) as a blush formed hot on my cheeks. Well what do you know? It wasn't an elf… silly me. Now, Charlie was also a young adult and fatherless. He was Really cute as well.

"Greetings Charlie, what brings you here?" I asked.

He was dressed in a dark green tunic with darker, but matching trousers. His shoulder-length dirty-blond hair pulled back in a pony-tail. I felt like such a mess, sitting in my borrowed night gown and robe.

"Some of the elves offered to show us to the stables to see the horses; I'm told they are some of the best in Arda! Would you like to come along?" he asked smiling. I looked down again at my clothes, then back to Charlie.

"Of course, just let me change first." I said motioning for him to leave. He didn't understand at first, "uh Charlie? Do you mind?" he looked at me sheepishly.

"Oh, sorry!" he rushed out the door, his cheeks and ears pink with embarrassment. I smiled and went to the walk in closet the elves had been so gracious to give me. After staring at the gowns with shock, putting on a light green one, and brushing my shoulder-length brown hair, I walked out of the room and into Charlie.

"I didn't know you were a girl!" he joked. I, of course, hit him in the shoulder playfully, "I figured you need help finding the way down to the others."

I thanked him and we headed down the intricate staircase to the front hall where two elves stood waiting for us. We walked out the door and followed a well-used path to another building.

"These are our stables; you may look at the horses, but ask permission if you choose to ride one." The elf smiled and walked out.

"We will return in a while, we have business to attend to now." The other elf stated, waved, and followed the first out the door. I rolled my eyes and walked into the first stall.

"Hello!" I said to the horse, smiling as I pretended to wait for a reply, the horse blinked, "oh you're the silent type!" I smiled knowingly at the horse then turned to Charlie.

"You've got to be careful with the silent types" I said using a stage whisper. He laughed and the horse huffed at me, "Oh don't worry, I'm only kidding" I patted the horse's head. Two seconds later, the horse had my hair in its mouth.

"EW! Let go, you silly creature!" I said to the horse, he reluctantly let go and my hair hit my neck with a wet smack.

"Let me guess, your just kidding?" The horse looked at me then lifted his head, lowered it, and shook it.

"Is that a ye-no? Or an n-yes?" I asked him laughing. The horse pushed me out of the stall with his head and whinnied. Charlie, of course, just stared and someone in the corner of the stables laughed at the scene.

_**AN: sooo, what do you think of the first part? up next...Purple people eater… Estel brings home a wild kitten and kitten likes purple. (Goes along with the "Elrond wears purple" jokes)**_


	2. Purple people eater

**Purple people eater**

Disclaimer: oh boohoo…Anything resembling something of Tolkiens… is just that. Tolkiens. Not mine… so all people looking for someone to sue can bugger off. ;) Jk.

One morning, before the sun had risen fully, Estel snuck out of the Last Homely House.

On his back was a small pack and he carried his toy sword at his side. He wanted to become a warrior just like Glorfindel and knew all good warriors practiced real early in the morning. He tiptoed past his brothers' chambers hoping they would still be resting and made his way to the kitchens to pack a snack.

"I shouldn't be back until dinner, so I'd better pack lunch as well" he said to himself thoughtfully.

Estel grabbed an apple and bit into it, then looked around for some bread. After spying a loaf and placing it in his pack, the lad made his way out into the valley to "guard" and train. He made it as far as the river before his eight year old body had to rest. The apple core had been chucked a few minutes ago and he realized he was thirsty. The river was right there, and he realized he had forgotten to pack a water flask.

"Oh!" he cried out, "well, I guess if you're out battling orcs and all other monsters, you don't always get to use a flask." Estel crawled to the river and began to drink with his hands, but stopped as he saw a dash of grey. He looked up to see a little grey tiger kitten batting around at the butterflies.

"HEY! What did those butterflies ever do to you! Ferocious beast!" he called and drew the toy sword. He place the tip between the cats eyes, and the kitten froze to stare at it cross eyed. Then he batted at it with a paw.

"Knock it off kitten! Im trying to slay you!" he said frustrated that his first enemy was playing with him.

The kitten paid no attention and sniffed the wood. Then, to Estel's dismay, gnawed on it.

"No kitty!" he pulled the sword back and the light rope on the hilt, which was meant to go around the waste, swung back and forth. The kitten saw this and pounced for it, whacking it around and making it swing more.

Now Estel had to laugh. He picked the kitten up and cradled it.

"I think I'm going to keep you kitty, but you need a name. After a moment of silence, the kitten nudged his hand and Estel spoke again.

"Lucifer, I shall call you Lucifer." He then rushed home to show his family.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Back at the house, Elrond paced back and forth in his office, it was past breakfast time and Estel was nowhere to be found. Elrohir and Elladan had checked his room this morning, but had found nothing. Now he was just waiting for Glorfindel's next appearance before anyone else could start looking. There was a knock on the door. 'Perhaps Glorfindel at last?' he thought.

"Come in" he called. The door banged open and an out of breath Estel ran in holding a small gray, white, and black bundle.

"Ada Ada! Look what I found!" he cried holding up Lucifer.

"Estel where were you! And where did you find that kitten?" He asked attempting to take the kitten, but Estel pulled him back.

"I went out to train so I can be a warrior some day! I was going to slay the ferocious beast, but then I tamed him, and brought him here." Estel spoke with animation and the kitten was starting to look sick as he swung his arms about to tell his tale.

Elrond watched his youngest with an amused expression, then stopped Estel for a moment.

"Ion nin, please let me take the kitten, you're making him dizzy with all your movement" Estel didn't look to happy about giving him up so Elrond added, "You'll get him back, don't worry."

Estel reluctantly let his foster-father take the kitten from him. Elrond pet the kitten softly to calm it down and soon enough it had crawled onto his shoulder and was purring up a storm.

"There now, Estel, you can't go bringing home wild animals. They might be dangerous." He said sternly. Estel pouted.

"But ada! Elladan brought home that wolf puppy once!" he started to argue but Elrond cut him off.

"Yes and what did the puppy do?" he asked, after no reply, "he destroyed the eastern gardens"

"But Lucifer wouldn't do that would you?" he asked the kitten. The kitten wasn't paying any attention, he was to busy staring at the purple collar of Elronds robes.

"Lucifer?" Elrond asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! Lucifer! My Valiant Companion!" he said enthusiastically.

"Well, I will think…" he stopped as the kitten started gnawing on his collar. Elrond immediately pulled him off, but the kitten climbed back up and attacked his collar again. Estel started to giggle as he tried and tried to get the kitten to stop eating is robes. He put the kitten on the floor, but it just attacked the purple hem. Estel tried to pick up Lucifer, but he just ran behind Elrond and attacked the back.

Now Elrond was not the type to embarrass himself by calling for help over a little kitten, so he and Estel continued to chase after the kitten even as it ripped, bit and clawed the poor elf-lords robe. They were about to give up when someone knocked on the door.

"I'm...grr...abit...GET BACK HERE!! Busy!!!" he called. The door opened anyway and Elladan and Elrohir entered. They were to busy with their handfuls to look up.

"We couldn't find Estel…" Elladan started.

"But we did find these by the river" Elrohir finished. The two previous inhabitants of the room stopped to look up. In Elladan and Elrohir's arms, were four more kittens and a mother. Elrond stood shocked and Estel cried out in joy.

"Kittens!" Lucifer continued to attack the robe. At the sight of their brother, all of the kittens squirmed loose and joined the battle…leaving the younger elves and the human child to laugh themselves silly at their fathers situation.

A/N please, tell me what you think. It was abit rushed but my muse is trying to kill himself again…stupid meany muffin. Hope you enjoyed it.


	3. Older Than He Looks

Older Than He Looks.

Disclaimer: my own, my love, my own...

whispers from the sidelines

Wait WHAT?

louder whispers from the sidelines

WHAT?? Im not listening lalalalalaaaaa laaaaaaaa

screaming IT BLOODY ISN'T YOUR'S

crying NOOOOOOOOOO...MY...P

(sidlines) Don't even say it

ok now seriously,..its Tolkien's not mine.

One morning in one of the caverns in Mirkwood, the one Legolas claimed as his, the prince rolled over in his sleep and hugged what he thought was an animal.

An animal? he bolted out of bed prepared to attack. What he wasn't prepared for was the clump of hair on his bed.

"AAHHHHHHHHHH" he screamed. The clump of hair was the same color and size of his, so it had to be his.

"but, but! i can't be going bald! Elves don't bald!" he cried. One of the maids just happened to be walking by and popped her head in.

"My lord? who are you talking to? There's no one here!"

Not wanting her to know he was going bald, he ushered her out and closed the door, telling her he was just remembering something.

She shrugged as he closed the door, not really giving it a second thought.

'oh what am i going to tell father!' he thought pacing his room. He through his right fist up in exclaimation.

"I've GOT it!" he exclaimed rushing to his mirror. He grabbed his brush and started combing his hair over the "balding" spot.

He sighed as he stepped out his door to go to the dinning hall. As he closed the door a strong gust of wind blew his freshly combed hair about.

"how can it be windy in a CAVE!!!" he hollared at no one then rushed back into his room. Once again he paced the floor, wondering what to do. Then the idea struck him. He pulled out some extra heavy mirkwood 'hair gel' and gelled his hair in place. As he was finishing he realized he hadn't changed his clothes and that his baggy pajama's wouldn't do. Legolas searched his closet and picked out an outfit to wear. While putting on the trousers, he realized they were to big, so he traded them. These were to big to, he went through every pair of trousers he had, but everything was to big.

"I've SHRUNKEN!" he yelled. Another maid popped her head in.

"Sir, may i ask what is wrong?"

"no you may not! now please, Leave Me BE!" he growled. The poor maid ran away crying. Legolas sighed, his father was bound to hear about that, but he did feel bad afterwards.

Legolas resorted to wearing the first pair up to his chest almost, then pulled on his tunic. The decorative clasp slipped off and he bent down to pick it up, just to realize he couldnt stand back up.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" he cried. He hobbled to the door to get to a healer. Somehow, a nest of bee's had found their way next to the prince's door and when he opened it, they swarmed. Legolas ducked and threw himself to the ground with his hands on top of his head. The bee's were quick to leave, so he didnt stay down for long, but his hands remained up. He yanked, pulled, twisted and did anything he could think of to get his hands unglued from his head, but all was a no go.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bed, twin elves sat stiffling their laughter.

Elrohir had cut Legolas' hair while Elladan had set up a fan system outside, then while Elrohir got the beehive, Elladan switched the hair gell with a glue mix. The two of them had arrived the night prior and had decided to greet their sleeping friend with a little prank. They switched his clothes with theirs and once the idea struck him that he might be going through the human stages of old age, his back gave out purely from suggestion. The couldn't stiffle their laughter and Legolas heard them. He tiptoed to the edge of the bed.

"YOU!!! YOU DID THIS!!!...hey! im not going bald!" he added the latter happily then quickly swung his mood, "You made me think i was going bald!!!"

The twins finally gave in and started laughing.

Legolas growled. "you think this is funny?...i'll show you funny!" he grabbed his daggers and the twins stopped abruptly.

"Legolas is was just..."

Legolas darted at them. They ran down almost every hallway saying things like:

"it was a harmless joke"

"I'll show you not to mess with me!" and

"don't hurt us!"

As King Thranduil stepped into his dining hall, thus was the scene playing before him. The three ran around and around the tables, Legolas' daggers still drawn. Thranduil mumbled a curse, then turned on his heal and went back to bed.


	4. Of Sledding and Pink Furry Monsters

_**Of Sledding and Pink Fluffy Monsters**_

It was a beautiful morning in the valley that held Rivendell safe and snug in its over-sized arms. The birds had flown south for winter, the snow as untouched and everything was absolutely peacef...

"HASTE! MAKE HASTE ELLADAN!" was what shattered the first morning after the years newest heavy snowfall. If one looked on from afar, they would have seen two raven haired dots running up the highest hill near The Last Homely House. Both carrying long wooden boards and both laughing as they held one of their favorite traditions. Sledding on the first realistic day of winter.

"Elrohir, I'm running as fast as I can!" Elladan called to his brother. They were near the top and Elladan had slipped once, thus making a hilarious sight for his twin to see. The elfling had eyebrows of white and his long raven locks had chunks of snow sticking to it.

"brother! If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were mocking old Mithrandir!" Elrohir laughed. His brother rolled up a snowball and chucked it at him.

"Oh, just hurry and lets make it to the top already!" Elladan exclaimed. Elrohir frowned and dropped the snowball he was planning on tormenting his brother with. He then chuckled and started running up the hill again, leaving Elladan behind. The elder twin wasn't to happy about it and called up, causing little Elrohir to burst out laughing which in turn made Elladan laugh. Together they reached the top and set their boards down. Each mounted their own board and straightened themselves up.

"Race you down?" asked Elrohir. The elder laughed and replied:

"it wouldn't be tradition if we did not!" and he pushed off.

"HEY!" called the younger as he started his chase. They sped down the hill, Elladan in the lead do to his head start. Some how during the trip down, Elladan had leaned forward and the board dug itself into the snow, causing him to fly off it and into the snow. With Elrohir mire inches away, there was no warning and Elrohir soon joined his brother in the pile soon to be known as "The giant Snow Elf".

"That was fun, shall we do it again?" asked Elladan after the two had stopped laughing and were able to breath again.

"maybe tomorrow brother, I don't know about you, but I am soaked to the bone!" he exclaimed over-exaggerating a little. Elladan nodded and proceeded to pick up his board. As they were walking down the pathway back to the house they saw a strange sight! It was a woman and something was attached to her shoulder. It was big, pink and fluffy, it had strange rounded off black hands, and it was making weird noises.

"Elladan!" Elrohir whispered, "what is that?"

His twin just stood stock still and stared.

"I don't know, it could be a monster! And its attacking that lady!" He replied after a moment. They glanced at each other, both slightly fearful, but their father had taught them well and they couldn't let him down by letting this thing attack the woman! So they nodded and ran yelling at the woman.

"What are you doing! You'll scare the baby!" the woman cried. The twins froze and looked at each other again.

"Baby?" they asked. The woman sighed and repositioned the bundle on her shoulders so that they could see it's little face.

"yes baby, this is my daughter!" The woman sighed, her tone changing from anger to adoration.

"But why is she so big and pink and fluffy!"

"But what of her hands? Why are they shaped like that?"

"And what of those strange noises?"

"My lords please! One question at a time!" the woman exclaimed, "She is a second born child, she doesn't have the ability to withstand cold temperatures as you can. Her name is Chastity."

Elrohir was staring at the pink bundle, gently running his finger on her cheek.

"She really is cute. May I hold her?" Elladan asked. The woman nodded and placed the child carefully in his arms. Elrohir was holding one of her hands, it was really small compared to his childlike ones.

"She doesn't look like a monster at all anymore!" he sighed, obviously relieved. The woman chuckled.

"you thought she was a monster?" she continued to chuckle, "My lords, I apologize for startling you and for laughing so, but she is positively harmless"

Soon after the other two joined in the chuckling, if they had listened well, they would have heard the little girl chuckle as well as she basked in the attention she received.

AN: sorry it was slightly rushed. You probably haven't guessed, but Chastity is based on my 16 month old niece, whom I love dearly.


	5. Of Elflings and Winter Solstice

A/N Merry Christmas Everybody, This special Christmas ficlet is brought to you with the help of Lady Ambreanna, who graciously supplied the ideas for this chapter in "A collection of small tidbits" Despite her request that flames go to her, don't blame her if I fudge up. It was her idea, but I am the one who filled in the blanks. If you must flame, do so but you won't receive the special Lord Elrond's gone crazy imaginary tee-shirt.

Thank you Lady Ambreanna and all you people out there who have been reading along with me.

Definition: Solstice, the equivalent to Mid-winter or Mid-summer. (I did not know this until recently myself, so if you didn't know, then don't feel bad)

Slightly AU and the characters might be a little off.

** _Of Elflings and Winter Solstice_  
**

"My Lord, relax. They are elflings!"

"Glorfindel, sweet naïve Glorfindel. They are not just elflings, they are ORCLINGS!" Lord Elrond exclaimed.

"Now now," Glorfindel replied, leading his lord to his overstuffed chair. "They can't be that bad"

"Oh they are! I've tried everything I can think of." It was nearing the big winter solstice gathering and Lord Elrond had a serious dilemma. His twins, Elladan and Elrohir, ALWAYS found their gifts before the gift exchange. The last year, guards were posted at the doors; Elrond had hid the gifts in a spare guest room. To his chagrin, the twins still managed to get past and open the gifts.

"Are you sure you have tried everything? How about hiding them in completely random and different places?" Glorfindel suggested while raising his arms and shoulders in a shrug. Elrond rolled his eyes and ran his hand over his forehead and eyes.

"Yes, my friend, I have indeed tried that. That was the year Figwit was drenched in tomato sauce." Though a rather funny sight to see; Glorfindel did his best to understand his lord's dilemma.

"Sir, what if we hide them in Lord Glorfindel's room?" asked Lindir, who had been sitting in the library's music section not 10 feet away. Glorfindel snapped his head towards the poor elf his face alight with dread and almost fear.

"No! Not again! I will not put myself in that much mental peril again!" he exclaimed. Once, a few years back, they had tried that. At the time it seemed like a brilliant idea. What elfling, even twin elflings, would be able to get by the mighty Balrog Slayer? The answer to this question is quite obvious. They had managed to find and use his one true weakness against him. While he was tearing the house apart looking for his beloved Mini-Glor, the twins were able to sneak in and open the gifts. They had hidden the sweet stuffed rabbit in the kitchen on the other side of the house, so by the time the esteemed head guard had returned; they had retreated to their own rooms. The gifts looked untouched, except that they had been moved. Of course nothing can get by Elrond and he soon found out the reason his children still managed their feat. But of course, during the few months to follow, he had not let poor Glorfindel live it down.

"You're right; we don't need to form another search party this year." Lindir laughed. If looks could kill, Lord Elrond wouldn't have the time to worry about hiding the gifts this year and Glorfindel would be locked away. The Lord paced the library floor.

"I'm so forlorn! There is not a place in my mind I can bring forth that would supply sufficient hiding space." He moaned.

Glorfindel and Lindir stood up simultaneously.

"I've got it!" they chorused. Glancing at each other, they went to sit down so the other could speak. Both stood again as the other sat.

"Go ahead" they said.

"No, you first" they replied.

"Alright, I'll go" said once again together.

"QUIET" Lord Elrond intervened, quite fed up with everything. The guard and the minstrel ceased all noise.

"Sir, what if you name all that you have tried and work from there!" Lindir exclaimed once more, earning a dirty look from Glorfindel who was about to say the same.

"Brilliant idea, I could kiss you!" he said jumping to his feet. Lindir looked bewildered, "I won't though, and my wife wouldn't like it if my minstrel went insane and tried decapitating me with a lute."

The two friends were looking at each other, deciding whether or not their lord was mentally stable.

"Alright, I have: hidden them in my room, used the oak tree out front, buried them in the snow, locked them in the panic room, locked them in the cellar, hidden them in the coat rack, hidden them under the twins own beds, put them in the chairs, hidden them in the highest cupboard…" Glorfindel cut him off.

"What about here in the library?" he asked. Elrond glared at him.

"Of course I've tried the library, remember? I sat by poor Mithrandir for almost two days trying to calm him down!" His two comrades stifled giggles. Mithrandir had been covered by an avalanche of books after the twins had accidently loosened one of the top shelves. He had reached up to take down a book of maps and hit the wobbly shelf causing six more shelves of books to pile up on him. The old Istar was fine if not shaken up and paper cut.

"I know! The fireplace! No they could get burned. The wreath? No it might fall on them, behind the curtains? Oh that's the first place they'll look!" By now he was hitting his head repeatedly on the desk begging the valar for help. Glorfindel and Lindir where trying to sneak out of the room.

"The ROOF that's it! Ha HA! They would never think I would hide them up there! They cannot climb up there without help! It's perfect!" He started laughing and dancing around the room. Lindir made it out the door in time, but poor Glorfindel was pulled into the dance by Elrond. The crazed lord swung him around the room in a crazy, if not hobbit like, jig.

"The roof The roof! The roof is on…." Elrond started to sing. There came a knock on the door, and to Glorfindel's relief, Elrond stopped to answer it. Seconds later the twins were standing in front of their father and their weapons tutor.

"Father" Elladan started.

"We came to tell you" Elrohir continued.

"That you need not hide our gifts this year" they finished together. Elrond's jaw dropped and Glorfindel's legs gave out. After a moment of silence Elrond blinked and responded with a sound, "Why is that?"

"Because Father" Elrohir stepped closer to the duo.

"We have decided that we are too old to do childish things like that anymore" Elladan added joining his brother's side.

"And besides, you seemed to be getting a little too stressed, so we thought we would give you a break this year." Elrohir finished and gave his father a hug before leaving. His twin followed after giving his own hug with a whispered "sorry adar" added. With a nod to Lord Glorfindel, the twins exited.

After a few steps the twins could have sworn they heard crazed laughter then sobbing and Glorfindel saying "now now my lord, there is always next year"


End file.
